Things I don't usually tell people

I have been thinking a lot lately. If you know me, then you know that is not uncommon. I could very well be a professional thinker. But I have been thinking more and more about my dreams. You know, the "some day when I grow up's."

I am dying to get out of the city. I am cramped. I feel like, kids need room to grow. Like the fish in the fish tank! They also need sun and fresh air.

I am dying to walk around barefoot in my yard, with a big ol' garden and an orchard and have some chickens...but not where I am walking barefooted. I want the dog to not need a fence or a leash and I want all of our friends to come party at our house and just crash in tents in the back yard. I want to play my music loud and not worry about the neighbors. Heck, I want it to rain while we're out there and get real nice and muddy. I want to feel it squish between my toes.Yes, this sounds perfect to me.

I want my children to go to montessory school. I am tired of public schools, and I am tired of the expectation. I want to see my children be able to excel in their areas of interest and get the help they need in the others and not have either side be pushed ahead or held back. I want the school to appreciate how important the Arts are to their growth and development as much as I do.

Call me a total tree hugger, but I want everything to be natural. It feels so much better just mentally knowing that you arent putting all these horrible chemicals in and onto your body and washing them down the drain into our water. I want the kids to feel that way too. I want to quit using plastic, and if I have to, it will be things that can be reused. I want to by plain pots and pans and not have any more tephlon. It scratches too easily and most of my wood spoons are burried in the Little Tykes play kitchen anyways.

I want to continue to clean out my house. From what I have experienced, it's like cleansing your soul. Get the junk out. Lets move back to the basics. Why do the girls need 20 babydolls? They don't play with all of them anyways. If everyone had exactly seven pairs of everything, one for each day of the week, I can imagine how much less laundry I would have. I also want everything to come by e-mail. I am tired of all the cluttered papers and bills everywhere. Its ugly, annoying and I just cant stand it.

Last, I want to continue to dream. I like it. It's fun. I want to want new things. I want to change my mind. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I want people to be accepting that I constantly change my mind and I like it that way. Nurse, teacher, baker or Doula, whatever I decide. I am happy. I am happy being broke, and I am happy when I'm not. Money has never been a concern of mine. It can't make you happy. All I know is I am happy making others happy, and I am happy when I can be creative.