Insulting Moments

I have had several moments lately where things have not gone my way. Nothing big. Nothing to dwell on.One of my children has a flag on the end of their bike. The manufacturer thought it would be a good idea for safty reasons, and it is. However why it is mobile is beyond me. Perhaps so it won't break? All I know is, I was innocently walking around the block with the children the other day as they rode their bikes, and his flag was swinging left and right as he shifted his weight while pedaling. The darn thing got up so much momentum that as he passed me it "bitch slapped" me right accross the face! It happened so fast I was shocked, it was like the mistery man had done it as I saw a flash of orange and then peered around in confusion to figure out what had just happened.

One time I stepped on a lego that was on the stairs. Our stairs are wood. That was the opposite time distortion thought. It took forever to fall down those steps in slow motion. Ouch, ouch , ouch, ouch.just get it over with already. I remember getting up and looking at that lego in disgust. I was so insulted. You! Speak! Lead me to your owner, who left you here?! Someone must be plotting my doom.
I'm pretty sure there have been many lego's conspiring against me. This was not the first time and I'm sure not the last. I am pretty sure they are in allience with the matchbox cars too.

I have noticed though, with my oldest daughter that we have moved from legos and foot punctuing barbie shoes, to nicely created boobie traps. Children aren't slobs. They creat a precise mess to keep us out. Face planting on the bedroom floor because the earphones tried to strange you ankle while the the plaid converse tried to mob your foot and wire hanger repeatedly stabbed you in the sole, is enough to keep you from entering that room again. AND that is why she has no clean clothes! I would never subject myself to another ambush of that sort.

But in years to come, These insulting moments are sure to fade. My house will be clean and so will the room my daughter once slept in. They children toys conspiring against me will be long gone and their won't be any earphones strangling my ankles.
As much as I want that so badly. The only way it will happen is for my children to all grow up and move on and out. That makes me sad. So for now I will just accept these as my moments as a mother. Sometimes painful and insulting, but brought by my awsome children whom I would never trade for a second!

Things I don't usually tell people

I have been thinking a lot lately. If you know me, then you know that is not uncommon. I could very well be a professional thinker. But I have been thinking more and more about my dreams. You know, the "some day when I grow up's."

I am dying to get out of the city. I am cramped. I feel like, kids need room to grow. Like the fish in the fish tank! They also need sun and fresh air.

I am dying to walk around barefoot in my yard, with a big ol' garden and an orchard and have some chickens...but not where I am walking barefooted. I want the dog to not need a fence or a leash and I want all of our friends to come party at our house and just crash in tents in the back yard. I want to play my music loud and not worry about the neighbors. Heck, I want it to rain while we're out there and get real nice and muddy. I want to feel it squish between my toes.Yes, this sounds perfect to me.

I want my children to go to montessory school. I am tired of public schools, and I am tired of the expectation. I want to see my children be able to excel in their areas of interest and get the help they need in the others and not have either side be pushed ahead or held back. I want the school to appreciate how important the Arts are to their growth and development as much as I do.

Call me a total tree hugger, but I want everything to be natural. It feels so much better just mentally knowing that you arent putting all these horrible chemicals in and onto your body and washing them down the drain into our water. I want the kids to feel that way too. I want to quit using plastic, and if I have to, it will be things that can be reused. I want to by plain pots and pans and not have any more tephlon. It scratches too easily and most of my wood spoons are burried in the Little Tykes play kitchen anyways.

I want to continue to clean out my house. From what I have experienced, it's like cleansing your soul. Get the junk out. Lets move back to the basics. Why do the girls need 20 babydolls? They don't play with all of them anyways. If everyone had exactly seven pairs of everything, one for each day of the week, I can imagine how much less laundry I would have. I also want everything to come by e-mail. I am tired of all the cluttered papers and bills everywhere. Its ugly, annoying and I just cant stand it.

Last, I want to continue to dream. I like it. It's fun. I want to want new things. I want to change my mind. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I want people to be accepting that I constantly change my mind and I like it that way. Nurse, teacher, baker or Doula, whatever I decide. I am happy. I am happy being broke, and I am happy when I'm not. Money has never been a concern of mine. It can't make you happy. All I know is I am happy making others happy, and I am happy when I can be creative.